Finally Coming Home

Finally, it was the day to come home. I had to pass off a whole lot of "education" stuff in the days before this so that we could just sign papers and go after his last dose of antibiotics. We put him in his cute little outfit, and took off!

The kids had picked stuffed animals to give Lucas when he was born, and had been patiently waiting to give them to him. They of course had them ready the second we came in the door :).

So excited to have their little brother home!

   

My sister April and her family had stayed and extra night knowing he would come home that day, and they all wanted a chance for some baby snuggles.

Finally home in is own bed!

Definitely worth celebrating with cake!

July 20, 2014

First Family Photo

 The NICU would only let kids (only siblings -- no other kids) in on the weekends, and they had to have proof that they were current on all immunizations. They were excited they could finally come in to see their baby brother, and Emma was of course thrilled to hold him.  

The IV's only last a couple days in each spot, so after it leaked antibiotics into his hand (causing them to poke him several times inserting something to break it down so it wouldn't cause scarring), they tried his feet (not great for a baby moving his feet around together), and so they finally stuck it right on top of his head so he couldn't reach it.

Not Too Much Longer Now...

Grandma coming in for a visit at the hospital -- her first chance to hold him. Can't thank her enough for all the help she provided with my kids and I, and also major work at our house. (Oh yeah, forgot to mention, the day before having Luke, Brad got a job offer in Meridian, ID from Scentsy that we had accepted, and were now trying to work on getting our house ready to sale... could not have done this without her! From painting, boxing up clutter, and landscaping in the backyard -- this woman can do it all!)

  

We had initially expected Luke to stay in the NICU for about two weeks, but he was doing well and so they planned on letting him go after the 7 days of antibiotics were done. So for the remaining hospital stay, I would go home to sleep (waking up every few hours to pump), get up and call the NICU nurse to see what his feeding schedule was, and then try to be there by his next feeding. Then I would stay there until 5 or 6, and then go home to rest and spend time with Emma and Jake.  It was exhausting -- especially after just having a c-section, but worth it. I still couldn't hold him much. Once he would wake up, the nurses would change him, check vitals, etc., give him to me to feed and burp him, then put him back on his bed to sleep. They wanted very little stimulation so that his body could focus on getting better. 

With my other two kids, I wasn't too particularly fond of breastfeeding. I did it because I knew it was what was best for them, and it was cheap :). With Luke, it became something special because it was the only time I could hold him. I had to take a picture of Luke's mini-fridge stocked with milk. I had brought so much in that they had to take the rest and put it in a freezer. My mom referred to me as a "Jersey Cow." Must be why my babies get so fat!

  

Lucas doing the "Superman". He was a bit jaundice, but liked to be swaddled, so they would put a mask on his eyes and pin the blanket around his neck to make him think he was being snuggled a bit more than he was. He wasn't falling for it at first, but eventually gave in and went back to sleep. 

 

My sister April had come in town, and her kids wore my kids out :). I think that's Connor and Logan asleep in the back, Emma obviously out, and Jake, who never falls asleep, laughing at them all.

Jumping for Joy

My sister Amber had come up with her kids, and I'm so glad she did so that my kids had someone to play with. She and Brad came to see me, and then over to Lucas with instructions to take some pictures.

Then Brad came to pick me up and go home. It was SO nice to be home. Brad and I went to the hospital that night, and we were met with quite the surprise. X-rays had come back cloudy -- signs of a lung infection (Pneumonia), so they got him on the right antibiotic, were able to take the CPap off, and were able to give him his first feeding that day! This was the first time we could see him without something on his face. Of course, tears again, but tears of joy this time. 

This was the first time Brad was able to hold him!

       

July 15, 2014

Day 2

We awoke hoping the best, but Lucas still wasn't improving. They tried to take him off the CPap, but had to put it back on because his Oxygen would drop again. The only thing the doctors would say is that, "He's on the fence," or "He's just sitting on the border." They were waiting for him to either improve or get worse so they could find out what was wrong. That was one of the worst feelings ever. Complete helplessness. It was hard to see our perfect little baby sick, and not being able to do anything but wait. They had him on an IV with sugar water and antibiotics, did blood work, chest x-rays, echo-cardiogram, etc...

I, of course, had been pretty emotional dealing with a sick baby, post pregnancy hormones, and recovery, but the nurses told Brad (to tell me) that I had to hold it together and be positive so that I might be able to hold him again (due to baby's being able to sense emotions and stress). I later discovered, that was why Brad wasn't trying to hold him those first few days. He was doing a great job of calming me down and helping me to stay positive, but was so worried and stressed, he didn't want to stress out Lucas.

So, I was determined to be positive and happy. I kept telling myself he'd pull out of it, get all the tubes and wires removed, and we'd be going home in a couple days. We felt Emma and Jake needed some Daddy time, since it had gotten a bit crazy and wanted them to have a bit of normal, so my mom (who had come to help out with me and the kids) came to the hospital to hang out with me.

Then came my breaking point. Lucas's doctor came in and told me that an ambulance transport team was on the way, and they were transferring him to the NICU at the Provo hospital. All my positive thoughts gone, and I just began to bawl.

Brad was at Boondock's with the kids (where Emma hit a Jackpot and won 1000 tickets!), but couldn't hear my mom due to how loud it was there (my poor mother was trying to handle getting a hold of him and me bawling at the same time...). We finally were able to talk, but he wouldn't be able to be there in time before they took Lucas.

I calmed down enough to go sit in the NICU with my mom and Lucas just as the transport team had arrived. They let me hold him for one minute before taking him. Unbearable helplessness -- more tears. As they left, they said "here's his first shirt" (a little life flight helicopter shirt), and wheeled him out. It's funny, I look back now remembering how mad I was that they thought it would make me happy that they were giving me a shirt while they were taking my Lucas. (Of course I know they meant well.)

I think I've been purposefully delaying blogging about this birth experience, knowing I'd be fighting back tears remembering all this. It was, without a doubt, the worst feeling in the world having him sick and taken away where I couldn't see him or be with him.

It had been such an emotional day, my pain meds had worn off, and I hadn't eaten anything for longer than I should have. It was recommended that I stay in the hospital overnight, and the Doctor could release me home in the morning. Brad went to the Provo hospital to get everything taken care of there and to check on Lucas. He was so impressed with how things were run in this much more specialized and monitored NICU, a doctor who had his "command center" by Lucas telling the nurses what he needed, etc. Brad called and told me how much better and confident he felt with Lucas there, and having had some reassurance that he was in good hands, I tried to get back in my positive mind frame and get some rest.

Lucas is Here! Day 1

Having had two difficult deliveries, the doctors and I decided it was best to do a C-section third time around. I was a bit nervous, but SO glad I did it. It was a walk in the park compared to the other two (delivery and recovery)! Here's Brad all suited up for the delivery...

of Lucas Orrin Wight, born at 7:58 am, 7lbs 8 oz, 19.5 inches long. He was not happy being pulled from his nice cozy home, and he definitely let us know. What a screamer! 

Then they brought him over so I could see him -- love at first sight, of course! I couldn't get over how small he was (my previous child being Jake -- who was huge), and how his head didn't have any scrapes or bruises! He was a perfect little boy. 

While I was getting put back together, Brad and Lucas were in the nursery. His oxygen levels were going down, so they put him on just a little bit of oxygen. It didn't improve, and his lungs were sticking together instead of fully inflating, so they put the Cpap on him to force air into his lungs. 

It was pretty scary seeing him like that, but the Dr's and nurses didn't seem too concerned because he was a full-term, good sized baby, and that sometimes a baby's lungs just need a little boost. He still didn't improve, and they took him into the NICU.

Definitely not the turn of events we were expecting at all. I had to stay in my room without my baby. Brad wheeled me in so we could see him, but no holding, and I was scared to even touch him. That night, after Brad went home to take care of the other kids, I got the good drugs in my system, and walked with my IV pole to the NICU (with a nurse making sure I didn't fall). The NICU nurse looking after Lucas said since I walked the whole way over there, that she thought I should be able to hold him. She was a big believer in "Kangaroo Kare" (skin on skin) helping sick babies. She let me stay about an hour -- about 10pm. I was so grateful to her. I needed to hold my baby.

About to Burst

I really do hate pictures of me pregnant, but the kids seem to enjoy looking back to see how fat I was with them in my belly... so Lucas, here ya go! Nine months pregnant -- 5 days before delivery!

July 7, 2014